Woot! Scientists Just Upped The Odds That An Earthquake Will Knock California Off America And Into The Ocean


Good riddance, chump state! We’ve had enough of your Ironman sequels and I can get my avocado fix from Mexico and what else do you provide? Virginia, Oregon and Washington produce excellent wines these days. That’s about all you got going for you, California. So fare the well, I say, although the electoral heft you used to provide was excellent for ensuring right-wing nuts didn’t forever dominate the political landscape, but whatever. America is a right-wing nut nation anyway. California didn’t really belong. You’ll be much happier as an independent, shattered archipelago, slowly drifting toward Australia.

Okay. California’s probably not going to actually fall off of America, but a new report by the U.S. Geological Survey thinks all of California is more unstable than previously thought (which wasn’t very stable to begin with, so good luck!) and that the odds of a MEGA-QUAKE are more likely than previously thought (all caps emphasis mine).

Scientists are virtually certain that California will be rocked by a strong earthquake in the next 30 years. Now they say the risk of a mega-quake is more likely than previously thought.

The chance of a magnitude-8 quake striking the state in the next three decades jumped to 7 per cent from 4.7 per cent, mainly because scientists took into account the possibility that several faults can shake at once, releasing seismic energy that results in greater destruction.

Whoop! And while I’m never stoked for loss of life, I enjoy a horrific natural disaster as much as the next Bro. Who doesn’t? MECHAQUAKE! But even if that massive, city-destroying earthquake doesn’t strike, Cali is still likely to get rocked soon.

While the risk of a mega-quake is higher than past estimates, it’s more likely – greater than 99 per cent chance – that California will be rattled by a magnitude-6.7 jolt similar in size to the 1994 Northridge disaster.

Ninety nine! That is a lot of percents! Almost all of them. But if 6.7 ain’t enough to get your disaster boner pumping, don’t worry. It’s very possible a bigger one is coming.

There is a 93 per cent chance of a magnitude 7 or larger occurring over the same period and a 48 per cent chance of a magnitude 7.5 – similar to previous estimates.

Then, of course, there’s the seven percent chance of an 8 or greater. That’s described by Earthquake Scale as “very destructive.”

Smart move building your state on one of the Earth’s most volatile fault lines. Serves you right, though. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. SMDH at your whole state.