“You either die a hero or you’ll live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
Just one day after we brought you the news of Chewbacca mom raking in a total of $400,000 in perks and bonuses (8 teacher salaries) for a video that will surely be lost in the couch cushions of the internet next week, we present you with the nauseating news that she is now charging $20 for a fucking autograph.
Chewy lovers at Dallas’ Fan Expo forked over $20 for a photo and autograph from Candace during her first convention appearance Sunday.
Payne got a prime booth spot too … right next to Jack Gleeson from “Game of Thrones.” We’re told her line was “average” compared to other celebs — with a wait time of about 10 minutes.
My first thought was: “No. Please. Why. How.” Then I quickly came to the realization that we created this monster, and now it is dead set on destroying us, Ex-Machina style. Chewbacca mom is no longer the fun-loving mother with a contagious enthusiasm for a children’s mask, she is a bonafide marketing machine and she will not stop until she has your rent money.
We’ve seen this before with water bottle flipping boy who, if you haven’t already forgotten about already, give it a week. The dude banked $15,000 for a signed REPLICA water bottle.
The fact that everyone is bitching and moaning about moving to Canada if Trump becomes President while this is happening right before our eyes, makes me punch a one way ticket to the sun.
But unlike Chewbacca mom, I can’t afford the ticket. So for now, let’s watch Chewbacca mom being too chippy on The Late Late Show!