The Amount Of Money People Are Bidding For A Signed Bottle From Viral Water Bottle Boy Hurts My Soul

Whatever happened to retiring on top? Barry Sanders retired honorably on his own terms while Brett Favre hung around just long enough to send an unsolicited dick pic to a creeped out cheerleader. Sanders still goes down as the top 10 running backs of all time while Favre’s career is tainted by his small, pathetic, clear mushroom tip that I can’t shake from my memory when his name is mentioned.

Point is, viral water bottle boy is going to overstay his welcome in our collective headspace. He had a dope ass trick that went super viral and probably got him laid a couple times. But now he’s taken on the same tired trajectory all these flash-flood internet stars take–he won’t stop until he gets free water for life on Ellen or some shit or he sells a signed water bottle for $15,100 on eBay.

water bottle boy


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Make no mistake, this dude is doing EXACTLY what I would do–cashing in while the iron’s hot–but since it’s not me, I can hate on him with no consequence. Kind of like how all the talking heads berated Tiger Woods for banging a lot of girls when they would have done the same shit given the opportunity.

So does this piss ant selling a water bottle for the price of a car depress the shit out of me? Yes. Do I respect the hustle? NO! (yes).

Oh ya, one small detail…


Excuse me while I go run my car engine with the windows up and the garage door closed.

[h/t TFM]