Whatever happened to retiring on top? Barry Sanders retired honorably on his own terms while Brett Favre hung around just long enough to send an unsolicited dick pic to a creeped out cheerleader. Sanders still goes down as the top 10 running backs of all time while Favre’s career is tainted by his small, pathetic, clear mushroom tip that I can’t shake from my memory when his name is mentioned.
Point is, viral water bottle boy is going to overstay his welcome in our collective headspace. He had a dope ass trick that went super viral and probably got him laid a couple times. But now he’s taken on the same tired trajectory all these flash-flood internet stars take–he won’t stop until he gets free water for life on Ellen or some shit or he sells a signed water bottle for $15,100 on eBay.
Make no mistake, this dude is doing EXACTLY what I would do–cashing in while the iron’s hot–but since it’s not me, I can hate on him with no consequence. Kind of like how all the talking heads berated Tiger Woods for banging a lot of girls when they would have done the same shit given the opportunity.
So does this piss ant selling a water bottle for the price of a car depress the shit out of me? Yes. Do I respect the hustle? NO! (yes).
Oh ya, one small detail…
Excuse me while I go run my car engine with the windows up and the garage door closed.