I don’t think I fully realized how much the Republican National Convention would dominate my TV schedule when it started a few days ago. I’ve been following this thing fucking religiously. I’m not even sure why. Probably because of the showmanship. We got Trump walking out like the Undertaker, Rudy Giuliani screaming like a madman and Chris Christie getting an entire stadium to chant “Lock Her Up” when talking about Hillary Clinton. That’s actually my favorite part. Which, for all of you, I scoured the Internet to find.
It’s like watching the principal from Billy Madison try and to incite a riot at the state fair. Honestly, I could watch Christie yell at the crowds all day. “And while I’m up here, I think that more people should empty bags of M&M’s into boxes of it.” “Double M&Ms!! Double M&Ms!!” “And I think that fat people should be able to have sex with strippers for free twice a week as a cardio workout!!” “Let the fatties fuck!! Let the fatties fuck!!” If I ever need anyone convinced of anything again in my life, I’m calling up Christie and getting him over there. “You should marry this kind of chubby blogger who looks like the generic knockoff of Slimer from Ghostbusters because he has a heart of gold!!” Talk about the best proposal plan ever.