I don’t know what it’s like to be a candidate for President of the United States. I’m a loser blogger who likes watching Kevin Smith movies while eating Hot Pockets on my couch. I’m not an uppity, power-hungry shark who feels like being surrounded by fellow scum lords all day.
Earlier today Donald Trump announced his official VP pick, Mike Pence. This is basically an act of cuckolding for New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who wagged his tail like a lap dog to Trump for months with the hope of being his VP pick. Christie bowed out to support Trump after losing in the Republican Primaries, leading to this now-infamous press conference in Palm Beach earlier this year:
TFW: When you sell your soul for nothing. https://t.co/gssiITzu97
— College Sports Only (@CollegeSportsO) July 15, 2016
Apparently the New Jersey governor was informed of the decision yesterday:
Sembla ser que Chris Christie no s'ha pres gaire bé l'elecció de Mike Pence com a VP de Trump pic.twitter.com/c7pldL0WbK
— Pere – Història de Palau-solità i Plegamans (@Perefarns) July 15, 2016
And today, when the pick was finally made, Twitter was ruthless:
Sorry Chris Christie https://t.co/0sAesV39H1
— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) July 15, 2016
Live shot of Chris Christie: pic.twitter.com/Ee39tGIcQi
— Ross Douthat (@DouthatNYT) July 15, 2016
https://twitter.com/jbarro/status/753966591260385280
https://twitter.com/jhoffman/status/753985431084097538
Somewhere there's a iPhone blaring "Everything dies baby that's a fact / But Maybe .." into Chris Christie's ears. And it's turned up to 11.
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) July 15, 2016
Somewhere, Chris Christie is eating Cheetos, crying, and singing to himself quietly "All by myseeelf. Don't wanna be…all by myseeeeelf…"
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) July 14, 2016
https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/753973683358687232
The New Yorker goes for TKO:
.@BorowitzReport: Furious Chris Christie Refuses to Pick Up Donald Trump’s Dry Cleaning https://t.co/8vL1tZahK8 pic.twitter.com/HW5jyi85Xr
— The New Yorker (@NewYorker) July 15, 2016