Crazy Horny College Theater Professor Is Facing A Lawsuit For Forcing Students To Simulate Sex Onstage

It’s impossible to shame a guy for getting horny. Literally every dude gets inexplicably horny more often than they’d like to admit. Guys who complain about having too much sex with girls are probably the same dudes who tell girls that they don’t eat box because they’re vegan. They’re liars and manipulators. That being said, there are definitely different levels of potential horniness as well as different ways people react. For instance, some guys could see a hot girl and say “Shit, I’d hit it” and then continue on their day with just a few mental images of what said hottie probably looks like topless. Other guys, however, may see a hot girl, immediately pitch a tent in their jeans and say, “Welp, I guess today is as good a day as any to go to prison, because me and that smoke donkey are sleeping together in about 10 minutes whether she wants to not.” So, while a little unsettling, it’s not too surprising when stories of crazy horny dudes doing weird shit makes national news.

For instance, let’s take a peek here at Fordham University’s theater professor Matthew MaGuire, a self-professed sexual “Wild Man”.

Via New York Post:

“A Fordham University theater professor is a sex-obsessed “Wild Man” who came on to female colleagues and students alike — boasting he’d slept with “hundreds of women” — and once bizarrely claimed he had “masturbated with a snake,” a bombshell new lawsuit claims. Randy theater director Matthew Maguire made sure all his colleagues knew he was in an open marriage and consistently devoted “the first 20 minutes” of each faculty meeting to a “monologue” about sex, according to the papers filed by his former underling Kris Stone.

Maguire, 63, even went so far as to produce and star in an autobiographical play he called “Wild Man,” all about his sexual escapades, and then required members of the department to attend. Maguire also forced “attractive female students” and faculty advisers to go on dates with him, the suit alleges.

The accused horndog even announced that once his daughters entered college, he would “no longer have sex with students,” the suit says.

Stone, 44, says in the court papers that students came crying to her, saying they were “afraid of him.”

Maguire required “some students in his acting classes to perform in class acts of rape, masturbation and molestation. Mr. Maguire even directed students to perform acts of simulated anal sex
on stage,” the papers accuse.”

First of all, I have to point out that at least this guy loves his daughters. No act says “I love you” more than not banging their friends. Beyond that, this guy definitely falls into the “I think with my dick head and not my actual head” category of men. For one, only a real hardo brags about sleeping with hundreds of women. Let’s say that was even true, that’s a number you lie about. It just makes everyone hate you. For one, if it’s real, people view you as gross. For another, if it’s not real, you look like a child bragging about something they have no idea about. “Hey Mikey, how many boobs have you touched?” “Uh like a hundred, dude. Maybe more.” Seeing that, it’s not really surprising this dude pressured students and colleagues to go on a date with him. Ok, a student is kind of in an awkward position because they have to go otherwise he’ll fail them. Not sure about colleagues. What kind of sway does he hold over them that they have to go or else he’ll do something to them? Tell people that they turned him down? Would turning down a date with the weird professor who talks about masturbating with snakes hurt your university street cred? I mean, the guy used to make his students simulate rape onstage. Would it be that weird to tell your colleagues that you didn’t go on a date with the simulated rape guy? Also, we have to assume that this guy doesn’t have electricity in his house, because regular people would just watch porn in the privacy of their home. That’s how I know this guy is one of those ‘dangerously horny’ dudes. Porn’s a mandate to dude like him. It’s like heroin to a drug addict. It’s bad for you, but the alternative is worse.

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