America’s Obesity Epidemic Has This Country’s Dads Worried Their Sons’ Dicks Are Too Small For Their Bodies

by 2 years ago
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In a perfect example of not seeing the forest for the trees, American dads are concerned their kids’ dicks are too small.

The dicks, though, are fine. Perfectly fine kid dicks.

The real issue? Their kids are so fat it’s making their weenies look teeny.

Man. That’s gotta be brutal to find out from a doctor.

“Your fat child has an average hog that just looks mediocre because he’s morbidly obese.”

But that’s a real thing doctors are saying to parents.

Not because they just feel like rubbing it into parents who weren’t at all concerned about whether their kid was packing, but because dads are asking them.

The New York Times Wellness blog has the scoop:

The pediatric wisdom is that it’s often the mother who asks the question. But she usually says the question comes from the boy’s father.

His dad is worried, she begins. Is our son’s penis a normal size? Is it too small? Is something wrong?

Most of the time, everything is perfectly normal. But what most of those boys have in common is their physique: They tend to be overweight.

So fat, indeed, it’s making their dicks impossible to see.

The penis can be buried in the fat pad that sits in front of the pubic bone, and it can remain hidden as boys go through adolescence. What is called a “hidden penis” can be a combination of being prepubertal (so the penis has not begun to grow) [or] being overweight (so the fat pad is significant).

The solution is just to wait.

And until the hormones of puberty kick in and the penis begins to grow, a statistically normal penis on a disproportionately large body can look small to a worried parent.

Merritt Jensen, a pediatric psychologist, works with the division of urology at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “I hear a lot of parents just wanting to be reassured it is within the realm of appropriate and typical and that it’s going to work correctly,” she said. “The mom often will say it but you can see the relief in Dad’s face.”

There you have it. American boy dicks: Fine. American boy FUPAs: MASSIVE.

And American Dads? NOT EXERCISING THEIR CHILDREN ENOUGH.

[Via The New York Times]


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