Bank Investigates Good Dog Named Dash After Confusing Him With Bad Islamic Death Cult Named Daesh

by 3 years ago
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One of the rules of law breaking is that you don’t announce your law breaking to everyone. Duh. That’s, like, law breaking 101.

If you are about to commit some terrorism, you say something like, I’m going to not commit some terrorism now,” lest people report you to the authorities.

Or, if you buys drugs with a check, you always put ‘NOT DRUGS’ in all caps in the memo line, so as to not arise any suspicion.

Like no one would be dumb enough to write ‘Money for ISIS’ on an online transfer to ISIS. Or Venmo with the memo: Image result for airplane emoji 

But a bank in San Francisco saw a payment for DASH and halted it.

Why? DASH looks a lot like DAESH, which is a name ISIS likes to go by.

Except Dash is a dog, and all Bruce Francis was doing was paying his dog walker. But the dog walker never got the money.

From KTVU:

“The dog walker comes to me and says, ‘I haven’t gotten your check,’” Francis said. “I looked in my Chase account and there was a message that saying ‘Please explain what for Dash means.”

The alert from the bank mentioned OFAC [the Office of Foreign Asset Control], an office of the U.S. Treasury.

Bruce called OFAC, and to his surprise, he got a call back, informing him that the transaction was flagged because his dog’s name is similar to the word DAESH, a term for ISIS in the Islamic world.

Yup, just paying for my death cult with my Chase Bank account.

Still, I guess I’d rather the government be slightly overzealous with stopping funds to ISIS then all chill and lax about it.

“Yea whatever they probably meant ice cream not ISIS, let it through.”

Francis feels the same way.

“I think anything we can do to stop the terrorists and the funding of terrorists, let’s do it. And if it means an inconvenience to me and my dog walker then that’s a price I’m totally willing to pay.”

Word.

Dash did not comment on the association, because he is a dog.

[H/T Huffington Post]


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