Donald Trump Is A Genius For Pretending To Be His Own Publicist And Telling Everyone He Gets Lots Of Chicks

Audio from 1991 of Donald Trump seemingly pretending to be his own publicist and boasting on how well the Donald does with the ladies has been unearthed by the Washington Post and it is just so very weird, but also shows the genius of the Trumpster.

Before we get into the bizarre impersonation, I think we should first understand the relationship with Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos and Trump. This week it was revealed that the Washington Post has assigned 20 staffers to dig up anything and anything about Trump. Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward said that they are not only writing articles, but also plan to write a book.

Bezos, who is the founder of Amazon, bought the Washington Post back in 2013 for $250 million. Bezos has donated money to political candidates who have been predominantly Democrats. His personal donations favor Democrats — $28,000 as opposed to $5,000 for Republicans from 1998 – 2013. His politics have been categorized as a “right-libertarian politics—meaning socially liberal, but in favor of business and privatization.”

On Thursday, Trump fired back at Bezos for his paper delving into his past. “He’s using the Washington Post, which is peanuts, he’s using that for political purposes to save Amazon in terms of taxes and in terms of antitrust,” Trump told Fox News.

“Every hour we’re getting calls from reporters from The Washington Post asking ridiculous questions,” Trump said. “And I will tell you, this is owned as a toy by Jeff Bezos … Amazon is getting away with murder, tax-wise. He’s using The Washington Post for power so that the politicians in Washington don’t tax Amazon like they should be taxed.”

Trump is claiming that the founder of was using the newspaper as a tool to influence corporate tax policy. The presumptive Republican presidential candidate believes Bezos could sway politicians into making favorable tax policies which would help Amazon, the world’s biggest retailer by market value.

On Friday, the Washington Post made allegations that Trump pretended to be his own publicist in the early 1990s. The audio definitely sounds like Trump, even has the Donald’s cadence and mannerisms.

When Sue Carswell, a reporter at People magazine, called Trump’s Manhattan office in 1991, she was told that she would receive a call back from one of Trump’s PR managers, “John Miller” or “John Barron.” Five minutes later, she received a call from the publicist who sounds exactly like Donald J. Trump.

Trump, err I mean “John Miller,” told the reporter exactly why Trump dumped Marla Maples for the Italian model Carla Bruni. “He really didn’t want to make a commitment,” “Miller” said. “He’s coming out of a marriage, and he’s starting to do tremendously well financially.”

Whoever this John Miller guy is, Trump should make him his V.P. because these two seem like they were made for each other.

Trump, err Miller even boasts how many women desire the Donald. “He’s somebody that has a lot of options,” “Miller” brags. “And frankly, he gets called by everybody. He gets called by everybody in the book, in terms of women. Actresses just call to see if they can go out with him and things. Madonna wanted to go out with him.” “Miller” even states that Trump had “three other girlfriends.”

Bad job by Saturday Night Live not getting John Miller to do Trump impersonations on their show.

However, Trump called the audio a “scam” and said “It was not me on the phone,” on the Today show. “I have many, many people that are trying to imitate my voice and you can imagine that.”

It is so obviously Donald Trump, like some bad episode of Crank Yankers or Jerky Boys. It’s like when Saul Goodman answers the phone as his secretary from his “office” in the closet located in the back of a nail salon.


You want to let some schmuck who couldn’t give a care mold your public image? No way! Nobody is a better PR person than yourself! And nobody is a bigger fan of Donald Trump than Donald Trump. He’s jumping on the phones getting the word out that he fucks lots and lots of chicks. A public relations manager doesn’t have the cojones or lack of scruples to do that.

PLUS, Trump is saving his company money. A high-end public relations manager in the NYC area makes $108,000 a year. This is EXACTLY the kind of cost-cutting thinking that we need in the White House to help pull America out of $19 trillion we have in national debt.

He totally goes all Cameron on principal Rooney in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

I love this guy.