Dude Divorces Wife Hours After The Ceremony Because She Was Too Busy Texting To Bone Him

From a young age, it is engrained in our heads that the wedding night is a time for passionate, completely sober love-making with our now legal life partners. What no one tells us, however, is that weddings are also a time to get blacked out drunk with your loved ones at the open bar you paid $10,000 to have. For those of you who may have forgotten, whiskey and boners go together like Israel and Palestine. I suspect this is the reason that more than HALF of newly married couple don’t have sex on their wedding night.

But then there are reasons for not slapping skins on your wedding night that may be indicators of intimacy issues down the road. So before you let those issues fester and ruin your life, it may be just easier to divorce you wife 8 hours after your married her because she was too busy texting her friends to consummate the marriage. Better safe than sorry.

According to Daily Mail,

A husband divorced his wife hours after their wedding because she was too busy texting her friends to consummate the marriage.

The groom took his Saudi bride back to their hotel room after the ceremony in the city of Jeddah.

But when he tried to get intimate with her, he was pushed away by his wife because she was trying to respond to congratulatory messages from friends on her phone.

She became angry when he asked her to stop.

A relative told Saudi daily Al Watan: ‘The groom tried to get closer with her and more intimate, but he was shocked when she ignored him, not responding to his words and action.

And then the bride hit him with the hammer.

‘When he asked her if her friends were more important than he was, the bride answered that they were.’

The argument became heated and the groom stormed out of the hotel, telling his wife that he wanted a divorce. 

Gulf News, which cited Al Watan, reported that a court had referred the case to a reconciliation committee, but the husband insisted on a divorce.

What do you think bros? Overreaction or nipping a toxic marriage in the bud? Do they return the wedding gifts to the senders? Who stakes claim to the honey moon? Lotta questions, not a lotta answers.

[h/t Daily Mail]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.