LISTEN: Dumbest Drug Dealers Ever Call 911 To Turn Themselves In For Trafficking 20-Pounds Of Marijuana

Being stoned and paranoid sucks, but this is next level stupid. Marijuana should 100% be legalized, but these two idiots pretty much deserve their jail time for how dumb they are. You know, in the interest of public safety and all.

According to East Idaho News, 22-year-old Leland Ayala-Doliente and his buddy, 23-year-old Holland Sward, were traveling from Las Vegas to Bozeman, Montana. Apparently they were smoking up the whole trip, progressively getting more and more stoned why the time they reached Idaho, which has some of the toughest marijuana laws in a country.

They got paranoid that cops were tailing them (they weren’t… at all, according to authorities), so Leland called 911 while parked outside an Applebees to surrender. He thought he was surrounded by cops (… he wasn’t). Of course, this triggered a cop paying the pair a visit and booking them both for trafficking 20 pounds of marijuana through Idaho.

Listen to the mind-boggling 911 call above. Here’s a transcript of the conversation, via:

Ayala-Dolitente: Hi, uh, we’re the two dumb asses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons and I’d just like for you guys to end it. If you could help me out with that, we would like to just get on with it.

Dispatcher: You got caught doing what?

Ayala-Dolitente: Ahh… okay. Um… We kind of got spooked here trying to bring some stuff across your Idaho border.

Dispatcher: Ok.

Ayala-Dolitente: And, yeah. A bunch of your cops driving around in a bunch of civilian cars not wanting to pick us up. I don’t know what’s the deal. I was just wondering if you could help us out and just end it.

Dispatcher: Ok… um….

Ayala-Dolitente:Yeah… if you could call one of them. I don’t know. It’s getting cold out here man. I just want to get warm and just get on with this whole thing so…

Dispatcher: Ok. Where you at right now?

Ayala-Dolitente: University Boulevard right next to the gas station and Applebee’s. All your buddies are around us so if you could help us out that’d be great.

Dispatcher: Ok… alright. Is it just you or is there anybody else with you?

Ayala-Dolitente: It’s me and my buddy that I brought with me and then we have a dog that we were gonna bring back to it’s owner but…

Dispatcher: Oh ok.

Ayala-Dolitente: She’s a really nice dog. She’s not mean. She’s a pitbull…

Dispatcher: Oh… cool.

Ayala-Dolitente: She’s really cold in the car. She could use some food too.

Dispatcher: Ok. What was your name man?

Ayala-Dolitente: It’s Leland.

Dispatcher: Leland… okay. Hold on just one second okay. Stay on the phone with me.

Ayala-Dolitente: Alright. Thank you.

(speaking to Sward): He’s a nice guy.

Want me to jump in the air and click my heels twice or what?

Dispatcher: Do you guys have any guns or weapons or anything on you at all?

Ayala-Dolitente: Nope we don’t have any of that stuff with us. Just a bunch of snacks and stuff.

Dispatcher: Alright. I just wanna make sure. They’re just curious.

Ayala-Dolitente: Yeah, yeah. We tried walking away from the car a couple times and that didn’t work. We tried waving them down and that didn’t work so I don’t know what’s going on here.

Dispatcher: Ok. I do have one of my marked units. He’s on his way over there so he’s on his way to meet you.

Ayala-Dolitente: Alright. Thank you.

Why no, dumb weed dealer — Thank YOU!

The two eventually pleaded guilty to possession with intent to deliver, amended down from an original charge. According to East Idaho News, Sward initially received five-years. The judge eventually put Sward on probation for five years, ordering him to serve 30 days in jail, according to reports.

Ayala-Doliente managed to fuck his sentencing up with his own stupidity. He originally was set to receive one and a half years in November, but ended up with eight years after testing positive for marijuana, cocaine, and oxycodone on his sentencing day, according to East Idaho News.

Both will forever live in infamy in the dumb criminal hall of fame, right next to their glorious 911 call.

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[H/T: Mark]

Brandon Wenerd avatar
BroBible's publisher and a founding partner, circa 2009. Brandon is based in Los Angeles, where he oversees BroBible's partnership team and other business development activities. He still loves to write and create content, including subjects related to internet culture, food, live music, Phish, the Grateful Dead, Philly sports, and adventures of all kinds. Email: brandon@brobible.com