Fashionable Thief Has Been Looking Suave While Knocking Over Banks In The Big Apple

Fashion thief


Remember that violent criminal who got a hot mugshot taken and women everywhere had to change their underwear? That was pretty bananas. That was actually more than just simply bananas. That was bananaland. Just a nation full of bananas. I mean, I guess it was a good thing that people were able to overlook some of the mistakes he’s made but also maybe people shouldn’t be so quick to judge a book by it’s cover when said book is full of violent criminal offenses. Regardless, I kind of thought that trend of glorifying criminals based on how they looked was over. I was also apparently wrong, since there’s new finely put together criminal in town.

According to DNA Info, there’s a thief on the loose in NYC that is knocking over banks but also looking fly as hell whilst doing it.

Via DNA Info:

“A dapper thief who’s been targeting banks across Manhattan has been tied to four more robberies since police last released images of him, and still remains at large, police said. The thief, who has now been connected to at least six robberies, appeared most recently at an HSBCbank on the Upper West Side, where he made off with more than $400, according to a police spokeswoman.

He has been tied to robberies or attempted robberies in Murray Hill, the West Village, and the Upper West Side, according to police reports — and in each instance, he was sporting a striking outfit ranging from a jauntily tied scarf and hipster beanie to a bike helmet and rain jacket. While the suspect is always wearing a pair of reflective sunglasses, he’s tried out different looks ranging from a tan jacket and a baseball cap, as well as in a straw hat and dark jacket, according to images released by police. His facial hair has also evolved, from an all-over scruffy beard and mustache to a 1970s-style mustache.

The robber first struck on March 8, when he strolled into a Santander Bank at 250 Lexington Ave. between East 34th and East 35th streets just after 3 p.m., handed a demand note to a teller and walked away with more than $2,000, a police spokeswoman said. He appeared again nearly two months later, on May 12, this time hitting the Santander branch at 711 Third Ave. between East 44th and East 45th streets, where he again passed a note and fled with an undisclosed amount of money, police said. The thief returned to his original target, the Third Avenue Santander Bank, on May 27, just after 4 p.m., but fled empty-handed after a teller refused to comply to his demands and instead called 911, according to a police report. On May 31 he walked into an HSBC bank at 354 Sixth Ave. between West Fourth and Washington Place at about 4:30 p.m., handed the teller a note that suggested he was armed, and fled with more than $1,200, a police spokeswoman said.”

Pretty A+ police work for them to figure out that the guy’s facial hair has the ability to grow. How would anyone have ever caught the guy if that was never figured out? I have a hot take, though. This guy just seems way too wealthy to be knocking over banks for a few hundred dollars. That guy is decked out pretty head-to-toe in designer clothing. I have a feeling he is some trust fund baby who needed a way to keep himself occupied. Kind of like how in the movies rich people kidnap poor people and then release them in the wild so they can hunt them like animals? I think we’re dealing with a similar situation here. This guy just likes the thrill of the steal. I bet he tosses the money in the garbage or wipes his ass with it. Maybe he uses all of the bills under $100 to roll his weed up in and everything else as a coke straw. That way, he doesn’t have to ruin any of his actual money.

On the off-chance that I’m wrong and you have information about how the NYPD can catch this guy, you can anonymously submit tips here.

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