Bad News For Evil Bros — Some States Want To Bring Back Firing Squads

There might be a new way to bite the big one in America if some lawmakers get their wish — Utah is looking to bring back death by firing squad. 

Due to recent issues with lethal injections (“issues” meaning they don’t always work quickly), Utah lawmakers are endorsing a proposal to bring back firing squad executions. Firing squads were banned in Utah back in 2005.

The proposal, put forth by Republican Rep. Paul Ray of Clearfield, suggests that a firing squad be used if the state cannot obtain the required lethal injection drugs 30 days before the execution. Ray says he believes it is the most humane method as the inmate dies instantly.

But what if someone just forgot to put in the order. We get food delivered to the office all the time. Sometimes we forget to order bananas. People are forgetful. A dude has to take a couple bullets to the head because someone couldn’t remember the bananas, I mean, the drugs?

The re-examination of execution practices comes after three major controversies this year, in which the inmates sentenced to death were perceived to suffer, to the point of torture, during their executions.

So let’s be nice to those murderers, cool? Last thing we need is them suffering like their victims. That’s TOO CRUEL!

Can I be the first to point out it’s not an automatic to die instantly from getting shot.  Check out these people. Wasn’t 50 Cent shot like a hundred times in one day? He’s still hanging around. Bullets don’t always end it all.

I think it should be left up to the inmate. One last wish. “You want to hope we kill you with a needle or with a couple shotguns? Let us know by lights out.”

Which would you choose?

H/T Ask Men


Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.