Imagine if today the United States government announced that it was going to declassify every document pertaining to the 1947 Roswell crash.
That incident, which occurred in New Mexico over a half century ago, is widely believed to be the first contact our government had with aliens.
(We are not including the Founding Fathers in that statement, because although they routinely communicated with species from other solar systems, they weren’t technically “our government” at the time. Still just a continental congress.)
The ensuing frenzy, to comb and parse the documents would be insane. People would go nuts. Especially if they proved aliens did actually crash land at Roswell. Like fuck, dude. I wouldn’t want to go to work the next day.
A bonanza like that is about to go down in Germany, where the courts there are forcing the Bundestag, the German parliament, to release all their files regarding research into UFOs.
BOO. YAH. Alien investigation party up in here. From the Daily Mail:
Germany’s parliament has been ordered to release confidential documents about UFOs after a lengthy legal battle.
The existence of the files was disputed as recently as 2008, but a UFO enthusiast discovered evidence to the contrary and pushed for their release.
Big win for nutso conspiracy theorists like myself. Especially because the government denied they were looking into UFOs for the longest time.
In 2008, Dr Wolfgang Schäuble, Germany’s Minister of the Interior denied that the German government had ever investigated UFOs, but in 2009, a UFO enthusiast named Robert Fleischer discovered a parliamentary department had been investigating extraterrestrial objects.
Why the fuck would you deny it? Because, I’ll god damn tell you, they found aliens. Although a lot of people are trying to manage expectations, saying the reports will probably include phrases like “It was a plane” and “It wasn’t an alien.”
News of the impending publication has been welcomed by UFO researchers, but some fear they may not be as exciting as hoped.
Nigel Watson, author of the UFO Investigation Manual, said: ‘They won’t reveal any secrets about hidden alien technology or alien bodies, but then again we can always hope!’
Yes we can dudes. SO get pumped. We may soon find out aliens exist.