Prepare To Deal With Some Ornery Ladies This Summer, As A Worldwide Prosecco Shortage May Be Coming


If there’s one thing the ladies love when the temperature rises, it’s the bubbly.

(Well, that and not being called “ladies” and not being broadly, patronizingly stereotyped, but that’s neither here nor there, now is it?)

But it isn’t just any bubbly that makes the babes go bonkers. Champagne’s too expense. Cava’s too cheap.

No, the libation millennial ladies love these days is Prosecco. The ‘sec they call it (I don’t think they call it that).

It’s an Italian carbonated wine and damn is it popular. Crisp, clean, carbonated and cheap, women of 2015 suck down ‘sec like the drought stricken nations that they truly are. (That’s a metaphor. For something.)

However, that popularity comes at a price. For a global Prosecco shortage may be coming. From The Drinks Business:

Speaking to the drinks business during the London Wine Fair this week, Roberto Cremonese, export manager of Bisol said: “Last year’s harvest was very poor, and down by up to 50% in some parts, so there is a very real possibility of a global shortage.

“We’ll find out how big the problem is in August when the brokers release their stock. At the moment we don’t know how much Prosecco they’re holding on to.

“Because there is such a demand for Prosecco, the négociants are releasing it onto the market slowly and are taking it as an opportunity to put prices up, in some cases by 50%.

Cremonese said that grape growers in the region were also capitalising on the demand by upping their prices and holding out on sales.

Shit, get prepped for some feisty bitches fighting it out for the precious allotments their cities get. Things could get ugly at wine shops. I mean ugly. It’s probably best to get divorced right now. Or go gay. Anything to avoid the anger of thirsty ladies denied their delicious Prosecco.

Because rooftops and sunsets just aren’t the same with sparkling Moscato.

[H/T @SaraLang]