This Guy Started A Crowdfunding Campaign For People To Make Him A Millionaire

by 3 years ago


NOOOOOO! This was my idea. My goddamn idea, you hear me? I’ve wanted to do this since the advent of crowdfunding the but pride — shitty ass pride — kept me from launching the campaign. It was my one and only retirement plan, because let’s be honest, what is a person supposed to do when they hit 40 and all they’ve done with the last 15 years of their life is blogging about golf, porn and weird sex crimes? A crowdfunding campaign was my only shot at financial freedom, and this asshole came along and blew it for me.

That was my 10 year plan. Blog a little more and then retire on the nest egg that I built from other people’s money. Shit, when you write it out like that, it really does seem like a foolproof plan. Too bad that dream is over now. I hope Applebee’s is hiring in 10 years.

Anyway, the campaign can be found at, but the site itself doesn’t reveal a lot about the person behind it. They are choosing to remain anonymous, primarily because the Internet would likely make it a point to ruin their life for being such a handout-seeking shithole of a human being.

The crowdfunding efforts launched on July 28th and will go on for another 90 days. In the first week, the campaign has only received about $12,000 in funding. It’s going to need a serious kick in the ass to reach its goal. Well, that, and a serious amount of rejects who are willing to piss away their hard-earned money so some anonymous bag of discharge can become a millionaire.

If you’re sitting there thinking, “what’s in it for me if I donate?”, don’t fret, there is something! According to the website, you get your picture AND a ‘thank you’ on wall of the website? WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER!??!?! SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

[H/T Metro]