Hopeless Romantic Hospitalized For Exhaustion After Waiting 10 DAYS In Airport For Online GF Is The Saddest Story Since Harambe

I know as bloggers we like to exaggerate and speak in hyperbole but this is legit the saddest thing I’ve read since the death of Harambe.

A 41-year-old Dutchman named Alexander Pieter Cirk fell in love with a Chinese woman online after chatting constantly with her for two months via social media and text. The lovesick puppy was so enamored with his online girlfriend, he did what we’ve all done when falling in love with a stranger who lives 3,000 miles away:

Just kidding. Letters are for baby back bitches. Alexander Pieter Cirk ain’t no baby back bitch.

Cirk put his money where his mouth is and threw down hundreds for a 3,000 mile flight to Changsha Huanghua International Airport in China, driven by dreams of a life of love and happiness with a woman named Zhang.

When Cirk arrived at the airport, he expected Zhang to be there with an ear to ear smile and maybe a bottle of lube for when they arrived back at her place. But she wasn’t.

Probably just swinging the car around. Them damn airport parking Nazi’s.

20 minutes turned into 40. 40 turned into an hour. An hour turned into three.

When it was all said and done, Cirk waited in the airport for 10 DAYS for a girl who never showed. The poor bastard would have stayed longer but he was taken to the hospital for exhaustion.

The local press got a hold of the no show, whose phone was allegedly shut off because she was “having surgery.” Zhang revealed to the press,

‘We had advanced our romantic relationship but later he seemed a little callous towards me.

‘One day he sent me a photo of air tickets abruptly, and I thought it was a joke.

‘He didn’t contact me later.’

Zhang also said that their relationship may not be over and they are currently working on meeting up when they both recover: her from a surgery that never happened and Cirk from a  shattered heart.

Moral of the story bros: You can only reek of desperation if you’re Ryan Gosling. If anyone else tries to lay their heart on the line at all costs, they’ll end up in the hospital jerking off into an IV bag. Don’t believe the movies: love is a myth.

[h/t Metro]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.