Like, yes it’s true that I got a lot out of my college experience because I thought I had to get it all out of my system. But you can’t tell me guys didn’t have the same mentality. Was I the girl giving the handy in the backyard at my senior year Cinco De Mayo party? Maybe. But were you the guy getting a handy in front of the general public? Were you the guy wandering around in your lax pinnie drinking keystone lights wearing a backpack in a random person’s backyard? Were you the guy creeping to my apartment at 3am? Probably. And would you do any of that now? No.
Maybe you would like to do all of those things, but you can’t anymore. Well, the same goes for us girls. I would love to dress like a complete and total whore on Halloween, but I’m, like, almost an adult so I can only dress like a whore now. And you think I don’t want to run to pizza places after drinking and wolf down 4 large slices every weekend? Like, you know I’d still be doing that if the god damn pizza places around me stayed open past 1am. As for quinoa, I love quinoa. But I was too poor for it in college. And, like, sorry all girls hate each other. We hated each other in college… We just have no time to be fake when working a full time job, so it’s out in the open now.
Our life changes have caused us to become like this. And although guys may seem like they’re the same assholes they were in college, they’re a different kind of asshole. See the way guys in their mid-20s have changed since college below.
Treatment of Girls
Guys in college fuck. Guys in their mid-20s go on dates before they fuck.
Ladies, what is the ratio of guys you hooked up with during college to guys you went on dates with? 30 to o? Yeah. That’s because guys didn’t HAVE to take girls out on dates. But now that we have changed into these high maintenance bitches that want dudes with fat bank accounts, they better work for that P. A guy in college would have never worked for that P. He would stand in a corner, spot the drunkest bitch at the party, and bring her to his apartment probably sending her on a walk of shame home at 6am (or vice versa) maybe or maybe not in a Halloween costume. That’s not the case anymore and guys know and (most) accept that. You take a bitch out. You spend money on her. You actually have a conversation with her. And then you get to fuck her. Whether you call her again or not, that really hasn’t changed.
Staying In vs Going Out
Guys in college rage sans sleep. Guys in their mid-20s rage, but only if they have gotten enough sleep. If not, they stay in.
Post-college men might seem like all they want to do is drink and fuck (and that’s because it is), BUT they aren’t going out all the time like they used to. In college, guys could rally no problem. Now they sometimes prefer lying on a couch watching Drunk History instead of going HAM at the bar. Like, when did they become so boring? Oh right — when more than half of their friends got girlfriends. And when they realized that working 5 days a week is really fucking tiring. A beer and the couch vs a night out on the town that involves spending money… A beer and the couch wins. Duh.
Having Girlfriends
Guys in college do not want girlfriends. Guys in their mid-20s either have a girlfriend or secretly wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend.
In college, having a girlfriend was like a death sentence. You couldn’t (or you weren’t supposed to) hook up with any one but HER. And none of your other bros had girlfriends. But after college, having a girlfriend isn’t all that bad. I mean, it’s someone to make you dinner, clean up after you, and take care of you. Not to mention, a lot of bros you know are getting wifed up… and before you know it you’ll be 30… better start the wife search now.
How They Look For Girls
Guys in college have an ocean of girls around them, and hook ups flow to them constantly. Guys in their mid-20s have a very small pond of girls around them, and they have to hunt for a hookup.
Mid-20s guys might not admit that they’re on the hunt, but they constantly are. They don’t have that giant wealth of women that they did in college. And most girls won’t go with home with them from the bar (fuck on the first meet? you better take me out first. sorry bro). The other problem is that a lot of mid-20s girls have boyfriends and aren’t okay with cheating like they were in college. Mid-20s guys could try to meet girls at work, but not only is that awkward but everyone is, like, married. This forces mid-20s guys to be all over the online dating scene. And they sure as hell wouldn’t of joined OK Cupid in college. Are they on there to actually date? Probably not. But it’s the only way they can get some ass… Bonus points if they join they ones you have to pay for. Male brostitution disguised as a guy looking for a relationship? Okay.
Spending Money
Guys in college drink beer out of cans. Guys in their mid-20s drink beer out of bottles.
When guys come into ‘wealth’ and by wealth I mean some sort of paycheck, they spend it on many different things including video games, beer, watches, sneakers, and things that involve beer. They buy girls drinks at the bar (did they ever do that in college? NO). They put money into things like apartments and cars. And they become more picky about their beer. Yeah, us women may ‘swag the fuck out’ via our fashion choices… but you guys swag the fuck out via technology and booze. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.
Fashion
Guys in college wear sweats, gym shorts, athletic t’s, and sneakers. Mid-20s guys wear dark jeans, dress shoes, and button down shirts.
After college, guys start dressing like real people. No more ripped t-shirt, jeans, and old sneakers combo at the bar. They wear button downs and dress shoes. It’s like when did they start caring? Oh right, when they stopped going to bars in their college town and started going places where women actually respected themselves. Ugh, those damn women (sorry we’re not sorry).
Showing Emotion
Guys in college do not care about your feelings so act like fucking dicks. Guys in their mid-20s care about your feelings, but not enough to stop acting like a fucking dick.
Mid-20s guys actually get to know girls. I mean, they have to. They can’t get laid without at least pretending to give a shit. This makes them feel feelings towards girls. They get to know some of them and genuinely care about them. However, that doesn’t mean they’re not going to fuck them over. They are. Unless they think they’re going to marry you, they’ll cheat, they’ll lie, they won’t call you back. The difference between their emotions in college: they actually feel bad now. You just might never know it.
Samantha Matt is the founder of Forever Twenty Somethings, the blog where this response was originally published.
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