More Than HALF Of Arrested Anti-Trump Protestors In Portland, Oregon Didn’t Even Vote And I’m Officially Moving To Mars

Vandalism and violence have flooded the streets in Portland, Oregon for what’s going on five nights of the most violent anti-Trump demonstration in the nation. A total of 71 people were arrested on Saturday alone, with some targeting law enforcement as a means of showing their disdain for the President-elect.

The destruction came to a tipping point on Saturday as two 18-year-old men were arrested and charged with attempted murder and unlawful use of a weapon after they shot a man on the Morrison Bridge during a protest march.

With storefronts being smashed and vandalized, traffic on busy roads being blocked, and hundreds marching for hours, disturbing the peace to make a stand, one would think that these protestors have resorted to rioting as a last resort. Well, according to Oregon state election records, most of these fuckfaces DIDN’T EVEN VOTE.

Via KGW:

More than half of the anti-Trump protesters arrested in Portland didn’t vote in Oregon, according to state election records.

At least sixty-nine demonstrators either didn’t turn in a ballot or weren’t registered to vote in the state.

KGW compiled a list of the 112 people arrested by the Portland Police Bureau during recent protests. Those names and ages, provided by police, were then compared to state voter logs by Multnomah County Elections officials.

Records show 34 of the protesters arrested didn’t return a ballot for the November 8 election. Thirty-five of the demonstrators taken into custody weren’t registered to vote in Oregon.

That’s like showing up to a party empty handed, drinking all the beer, clogging the toilets, and then Venmo requesting the host for Advil and a greasy breakfast the next morning because you feel ill. Fuck these people. Fuck them right in the poop shoot.

It can more aptly be described by the greatest villain of all-time:

God damnit, when is Elon Musk sending people to Mars. I have $29.82 in my bank account and I need a seat in that rocket ship.

[h/t Total Frat Move]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.