The iPhone 7 is here, and with it comes a bunch of stupid features that only Apple thinks you wanted. You got headphones? NO YOU DON’T, you’ve got a $160 bill for wireless air “pods” that will probably break or get lost within the next week. You want a second camera? No? Well here’s one anyway, because god knows you bought this phone to take pictures and not do something silly like make a call.
And don’t get me started on the fancy new black finish option – it’s just a glossy excuse to get you to buy an expensive case so it doesn’t get scratched. I’m onto you Apple, I’m onto you.