Oh brother, there’s less than 10 days before Christmas and you have a long list of names that you haven’t gotten gifts for yet.
You’ve already spent all the money you’ve saved these last three months to get gifts for your parents and siblings, but your friends aren’t as fortunate. They aren’t getting anything from a mall department store — nor should they expect to, but there are ways to beat the panic and resolve this seemingly intense crisis.
(For the record, a bro should never mutter the words “shopping” and “crisis” every in the same sentence).
Firstly, your computer is your No. 1 ally — trust it, rely on it and reap the dividends. There’s plenty of cheap and easy-to-buy stuff online that you can purchase and print of the receipt. Deliver that piece of paper to your buddy on Dec. 23 and tell them their gift is on the way or that it “could not get here on time.”
I doubt they’ll care — I personally believe everybody likes getting at least one, if not multiple, late Christmas gifts.
If your computer fails you in this process, then resort to old reliable — the neighborhood gas station or 7-Eleven.
That’s right — buy your bro some last minute lottery tickets.
Why? Because everybody loves to gamble and, more importantly, you can avoid going back to the aforementioned mall department stores. No bro wants to do that again.
Here are 10 more gifts to get every bro in your life:
The holiday season is the time of year when the weather gets cold at the same time the NBA season starts to heat up. Get the hoops fanatic in your life ready for the remainder of the season by buying them NBA jersey’s from their favorite team. Who knows, this gift might become the good luck charm he or she can’t take off or even wash. And that’s fun for the whole family.
2. Propel RC Gyropter
Guys love toys and remote-control toys are no exception, like the Propel RC Gyropter 3.
You can fit a lot of things under this larger umbrella category of electronic toys including stuff like alien spaceships, micro drones that can climb walls, and dueling helicopters that can be shot down by one another.
Believe it or not, all of this stuff exists — and you can buy them all at the nearest 7-Eleven.
3. JCrew’s Touchtec (Texting) Gloves
First off, I’m wholeheartedly against buying clothing or any accessory for friends but in this case I’ll make an exception because everybody needs a pair of these.
Don’t ask me how it works but the idea itself is definitely praiseworthy because trying to text with gloves on is like trying to push shit against the tide — it simply doesn’t work, and it will only leave you infuriated over the fact you pathetically attempted to do something for the 12th time that you know doesn’t work.
4. Puma Bio Drive Golf Shoes
Gone are the days of conventional golf shoes. Today’s player wants ultra versatility, comfort and style. Enter Puma’s new Bio Drive golf shoe, the perfect mix of flexibility, balance and support for the golfer in your life. Oh, and they’re waterproof too.
5. Fitbit One Wireless Activity and Sleep Tracker
For the bro who’s fitness obsessed or just wants to have an edge when it comes to tackling all the things on his New Years resolutions list.
This piece of technology tracks steps, distance, calories burned and stairs climbed, while also monitoring how long and how well you sleep. Better yet, it syncs automatically to your computer or smart phone and can help you set up goals and check in on how you’re doing at achieving them.
So yea, if you’re a lazy slacker, then this gift is your worst enemy.
Speaking of athletics…
6. Sports Tickets
Always my fall back for shopping for guys because — a) who’s going to complain about getting tickets to a live sporting event, b) you can get them as late as Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, if you’re truly savage, and c) you’re more than likely going to the event yourself so it’s like buying something for yourself and sharing it with someone else.
That last point may have sounded completely self-absorbed and completely not in keeping with the holiday spirit, but I don’t care — guys like to go watch sports with each other. Sorry for wanting to be there and not wanting to miss something spectacular like a buzzer beating-shot or a Hail Mary touchdown.
7. Cards Against Humanity
I finally got around to playing this “party game” recently and highly recommend it as a gift for any bro this holiday season. It’s a cheaper version of buying him a video game and can be used in a more social setting, which will consequentially liberate him from his limited and isolated existence in front of the TV.
If you’re looking for a pregame activity for all parties to enjoy, then this might be just what you’re looking for.
8. Popular Mechanics (Magazine)
Sports Illustrated and Men’s Health are too traditional of choices if you’re going to go the route of buying a yearlong magazine subscription. Try to think outside the box a little bit and start by asking the question: what does he like and how can he improve on that knowledge?
If your answer ranges anywhere from technology to fixing stuff around the house to video games to cars, then Popular Mechanics is just the right magazine for him.
While you’re checking out, you mine as well consider getting a year’s worth of copy for yourself. Seriously, this magazine will slowly teach you how to become a man.
If you’re afraid to take the risk, a subscription to Esquire is a much safer bet and should do the trick.
Another suggestion for your bro who’s extremely career-oriented would be a subscription to Mixergy Premium, which focuses on learning about entrepreneurship and creating a business on your own.
9. Yaktrax Walker Traction Cleats for Snow and Ice
This useful item is more of a tool or an accessory than it is a fashionable piece of clothing, which means the law of not buying your bro clothes remains intact.
Now, if your bro lives in Arizona or Florida than this isn’t a very practical gift, but it remains the perfect present for anyone who lives somewhere where winter is approaching rapidly.
These slip on cleats let you walk naturally on packed snow and ice. And hell, if you’re feeling ambitious, these grips let you run in the snow too.
10. Victorinox 8-Piece Knife Set
For the bro who’s into grilling, this complete set of knives has everything and more. It comes with five knives, kitchen shears, sharpening steel and block — it’s the stuff that the professionals’ use in the kitchen, which means it’s no lightweight pushover gift.
This is something he’ll use for years to come and will always be grateful to you for empowering him with such a great gift.
A fallback option would be the book “Meat: Everything You Need To Know”
by Pat LaFrieda — it’s supposedly the bible of meat consumption and perhaps the safest gift you can get any guy this holiday season.