Homeless Man Steals Ambulance To ‘See Some Pole Dancing’, Is Thwarted Before Reaching Titty Bar

A homeless man in Detroit wanted to see some taters, but being homeless he didn’t own a car, and public transportation wasn’t available. Instead of just letting his carnal urges subside he did the best thing he could think of: he stole and ambulance and drove to the strip club.

This is not a story with a ceremonial happy ending (in the champagne room) though, as the homeless man was apprehended by police on the way to the strip club. Furthermore, if he had made it to the strip club he was intending to go to, called the ‘Booby Trap’, he’d have made it there only to find out that musty old clap trap went out of business ages ago.

From The Oakland Press:

Frustrated with a lack of public transportation and in desperate need to reach a certain destination, a homeless man stole an ambulance from a hospital in Pontiac on Sunday.

“He told the deputy he was hoping to go to the Booby Trap to see some pole dancing,” Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard said.

“You can’t make this up.”

The man, who hoped to make it to the Detroit strip club but was stopped by police in Sterling Heights, was asked why he took the ambulance.

“Apparently he said there was no public transportation available,” Bouchard said.

“Again, you can’t make this up.”

Deputies learned of the theft around 11 p.m. Sunday, when they were dispatched to the hospital in the 50 block of Perry. The ambulance had been parked at the entrance after a patient was transported to the hospital, and it was unlocked and had a cell phone inside.

Authorities located the vehicle after tracing the cell phone to an area in Sterling Heights, and Sterling Heights police officers pulled the vehicle over and arrested the suspect, who was cooperative. The ambulance was turned over to STAR EMS.

The suspect has mental health issues, according to the sheriff’s office.

Literally the ONLY shocking this about this story is that it took place in Detroit, and not in the great state of Florida.
When I first saw headlines for this I was 99.9% certain it was Florida before I even clicked, but much to my dismay ‘crazy’ isn’t something that’s localized to America’s Penis, the Sunshine State.


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