Bro Explains How To Properly Eat A Burrito, Which Is Kinda Like Hooking Up With A Girl
This kid is a Bro in my book. So many perfectly normal people become sloppy savages when it comes to chowing down on a burrito. They end up unintentionally emptying out the delicious contents of said burrito because they don’t have the technique mastered. It’s a goddamn shame. Fortunately, Danny Ready is here to help, complete with a little burrito-eating innuendo.
“Firmly grasp the bottom… Know when to go from vertical to horizontal… One-hand it…” These are sexual euphemisms for this Iowa Bro’s tutorial on how to eat a burrito without being a savage.
Two rules to live by in burrito-eating:
“If you think you need to use the foil, NO… STAHP.”
“The kind of guys who can’t eat a burrito without spilling everything out of it are the kind of guys who pee sitting down.”
As long as you have a firm grasp on that bottom, you’re golden, Bros. Just remember the proper time and place for housing those ‘ritos.
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