This Guy Is Guilty Of ‘Genitalia Vandalism’ At IKEA, And It Sounds Gross, But Actually It’s Funny As Hell



Pleading guilty to “genitalia vandalism” sounds like it should involve years behind bars. It sounds like the actual vandalizing of a human being and their junk. Nope.

It’s just good old fashion dick doodling.

A 31-year-old man from Aalborg was convicted for a fairly bizarre act of vandalism on Tuesday.

On a visit to the local IKEA in Aalborg, the man had taken one of the store’s wooden pencils and proceeded to casually stroll through the warehouse drawing small penises on the walls and pieces of furniture on display.

“He drew up to 30 penises on walls and shelves around the warehouse,” Rikke Poulsen from the North Jutland police told Berlingske News Bureau.

After the guy was caught, he blamed other people for his actions, claiming he saw a bunch of dicks drawn around the store and was just copying the idea. Those are Swedish meatballs and hot dogs, sir!

The dick doodler received a 20 day suspended sentence and could be banned from IKEA for life. Not like that’s the worst thing.

[via The Local]