Have you ever wanted a girlfriend but didn’t want to deal with the human contact, sex and everything that goes with dating another human? You’re in luck. Invisible Girlfriend has you covered.
Sign up for Invisible Girlfriend (or Invisible Boyfriend if you’re more into dicks) users create a fake profile for a fake girlfriend. For just $25 per month, your Invisible Girlfriend will send 100 text messages, 10 voicemails and one postcard per month sent from an invisible person who answers to the fake name you made up for her. All of those seem kind of low for a girlfriend but it’s only $25. Maybe for more money you get “real girlfriend level” and users get a text message every seven seconds.
So why the hell isInvisible Girlfriend a thing? Because people need to release all the pressure on them that’s coming from people so fucking bored that they care about other people’s sex lives.
“We believe the Invisible Partner concept meets a universal problem. Society puts so much pressure on your relationship status. From Grandma to coworkers to romantic comedies, everyone seems to expect us to pursue a relationship. But sometimes you don’t want to be in one. We think that’s totally normal.”
It’s totally normal to not want to be in a relationship but it’s not totally normal to pay a company to fabricate a relationship. That’s the wish of a crazy person. To have fake people contact them throughout the day. It’s the wish of a sheer lunatic. A lunatic too scared to tell people “I’m single.”
Just like real relationships, things can go wrong — an Ask Men writer tried the service and got dumped. I hope he expensed the experiment.
So if you need a fake girlfriend or boyfriend, go sign up for Invisible Girlfriend or Invisible Boyfriend. I’ll do the same thing for half the price. I’ll even send numerous dick pics whether you want them or not.
[H/T: Ask Men]