Don’t Want Cancer? Quit Going Muff Diving, Bro

A new study published in the journal JAMA Oncology has found that people who engage in oral sex are 22 times more likely to contract some form of head, neck, and/or throat cancer. As most of you already know this is most often caused by the transfer of HPV (human papillomavirus) from the genitals to the mouth, and HPV down south often leads to cervical cancer which once transferred to the mouth often leads to oral cancer. HPV doesn’t directly lead to cancer, but it does cause our cells to change and mutate which in turn often leads to cancer. These new numbers are pretty fuckin’ scary though, that munching muff leads to your chances of contracting cancer increased by 22 times. At some point we have to ask ourselves whether or not it’s good to both give and receive? Maybe it’s not in the best interest of your body anymore to be a giver… Here’s the skinny on this latest study, the first to definitively link oral cancer with oral sex (and HPV).

via TheDailyMail:

This new study, published in the journal JAMA Oncology, is the first to show conclusively that HPV-16’s presence in the mouth leads to the development of oropharyngeal cancer.
This follows a study in The New England Journal of Medicine which showed that those infected with HPV were 32 times more likely to develop oral or throat cancers.
And previous research published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology found HPV now accounts for more head and neck cancers than tobacco or alcohol.
Spread by skin-to-skin contact, not just by sex, HPV affects almost everyone at some stage in their life.
In most people, the immune system fights it off and it does no harm.
But on rare occasions, the virus takes hold, leading to a chain of events that ends in cancer of the cervix, penis, anus, vagina or mouth.
Around 15 strains can cause cervical cancer – and HPV-16 is the most common.
The most dangerous HPV’s, 16 and 18, which are transmitted through sexual contact are known to cause up to 95 per cent of cervical cancers.
Now these two HPV’s are also being linked to oral cancer.
A different study done by Dr No-Hee Park, a leading expert in head and neck cancers at UCLA, showed that the mouth was, at the cellular level, structurally very similar to the vagina and cervix.
Both organs have the same type of epithelial cells that are the target of HPV 16 and HPV 18.

So quit yer muff divin’ and get on with your lives. If you don’t want throat cancer down the road then stop giving. Lock up those lips, bro. Even if you’ve got a reputation as the ‘Greatest Mouth in the East’ you need to cut that shit out, because as a nation we will be repealing Obamacare in the very near future, and that means that at least some of you will be out of insurance. Without insurance you’ll have no shot against cancer, and I don’t want to lose any of you bros to cancer…because believe it or not I actually enjoy some of you readers even when you call me a ‘piece of shit, waste of space’.

Again, to recap what we’ve gone over here today: watch what you do with your mouth.

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