I woke up this morning thinking to myself: “I could kick the shit out of every toddler on the planet.” The fight would be over before it even started. I’m bigger, faster, stronger, and probably more intelligent than every little shit in diapers. Honestly though, for all you three-year-olds reading this, first off, that’s impressive, but more importantly if you step to me you’re going you may need to watch Dora the Explorer out of your less swollen eye. RING THE FUCKING BELL.
But then I learned of this three-year-old Australian bro named Dash.
Dash still wears diapers but is shredded like aged parmesan.
See for yourself if you’re looking to feel emasculated.
Dash’s mother Ursula told Daily Mail Austrailia:
“I first noticed Dash had the beginnings of a six pack about six months ago when I was changing his nappy.
He curled his feet up towards the sky and I saw it and sent a picture to his dad saying ‘do you see what I see?’
He’s too young to realise he has it of course, but he’s already incredibly muscly and just loves to exercise.
I’m truly blessed to have such a healthy little boy.”
The dude isn’t just a meatstick, he is agile as fuck and keeps up with his cardio.
“He’s outside every day, come rain or shine. I used to run with him in the pram when he was a baby, and as soon as he hit two, I took him out on what I thought would be a gentle jog.
Dash ended up running four kilometres!”
That’s 2.5 miles. A toddler ran 2.5 miles. What’s my excuse? Running sucks. Good enough for me.
Dude, do less. You’re showing us up, hero.