Jealousy is natural. My ex used to bring around this dude she worked with who looked like a Calvin Klein model–five o’clock shadow on fleek, smile that could light up a room, and hair that would make John Stamos look like Dr. Phil. Damon was his name. Fucking Damon.
It used to drive me up a wall. But whenever the jealousy would take over, I used to remind myself of a line from Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Sunscreen Song’:
“Don’t waste your time with jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”
They started fucking once we broke up. Erroneous.
But the story of this dude from China, You Pan, exceeds jealousy and enters a level of paranoia I hope to never experience.
Yan Tai, 20, of China’s Guangdong Province has agreed to marry the man who made her double her weight to deter male attraction.
You Pan, 25, reportedly spent obscene amounts of money every day to ensure that Yan was stuffed to the brim after every meal. She weighed 100 lbs.before the eating binge, and 190 lbs. after.
After Yan was almost unrecognizable from her former self, the dude decided to ask for her hand in marriage. What a romantic. And he proposed in true psychotic fashion: with a bouquet made of chocolates in front of a strip of their favorite restaurants.
Tai accepted giddily in front of a group of friends who were holding up pictures of the foods she ate to chub her up. Soooo, we’re celebrating this now?
Pan still plans to keep feeding Yan large meals because jealousy is more powerful than the sanctity of marriage.
Pan, if you’re reading this: I’m coming to China to to hook up with your wife. Get shook.
[H/T Elite Daily]