This Tech Dude’s One Secret Interview Trick For Prospective Employees Will Piss You Off Righteously

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It is admittedly a hirer’s market in the corporate world right now. With millions still out of work from the recession, and more and more college grads entering the job force each year, employers have their pick of talent.

In the tech world, CEBros have taken the excess number of candidates and turned the process of getting a job with their companies into some bizzaro fraternity hazing bullshit.

Mark Zuckerberg takes people on hikes during interviews. Steve Jobs forced prospective Apple employees to drop acid with him in Joshua Tree. Whoever the dick fucks are who run Uber probably make ten candidates for the same job play a game of soggy biscuit, watching behind two-way glass, determined to hire the guy who finishes fifth.

All this stuff is complete unethical, and probably illegal, but tech companies have convinced themselves this is THE ONLY WAY to ensure you get the best and brightest. Because we’re changing the world here, people.

It’s fucking bullshit. Getting a job is harrowing enough without these hoops that don’t prove a fucking thing, and they only exist to show other tech companies how hard it is to get a job at our tech company.

WANKING MOTION.

But the most wanking motion I’ve ever had is for this essay by Mac Lackey, the founder of Kyck, about his trick to weed out bad candidates.

OH. You’ve never heard of Kyck? Why it’s changing the damn world by being an app or something (I don’t care) designed to “disrupt and re-imagine how the game of soccer is managed off the field.”

Shit. Fuck. Bet people are clamoring for that gig. How does Mac Lack get all those resumes off his dick?

By asking people to come in for interviews at 6:30 a.m.

With our first company, my business partner and I would schedule interviews at the coffee shop at 6:30 in the morning.

Sure, I get up early. I think that’s important. But, I really wanted to see how people reacted to a 6:30am interview.

I understand that if you’re not a morning person, being ready and on for a 6:30am interview is a challenging situation. But how you react to that challenge tells me a lot about not only your character, but also how you choose to handle situations that take you out of your comfort zone.

Fuck off, dude.

Remember, people, if someone asks you to come in for an interview, it means they are considering hiring you, and you have power. You can ask for more money. You can dictate the terms of the time. And if Mac Lackey throws a shit fit because you say you’d rather do 11:00 a.m., well… there’s a reason Kyck didn’t IPO at 35 billion.

But there’s more. A hidden challenge? You don’t say?

There IS a bit of a hidden challenge in this meeting time request – I am paying attention to the first thing out of your mouth. It tells me even more about you.

Are you talking about how frighteningly early it is?

Are you blaming your tardiness on everyone else – the kids, the dog, the traffic?

Are you apologizing for how tired you look?

It is illegal to discriminate against people who have children, and having to get your kids to school is perhaps the most legitimate reason (not excuse) in the world to not do something.

Normally I’d include a link here for you to read the rest of it, but asphyxiating yourself by cramming a doggie chew toy down your throat would be a more productive use of your time.

Okay, fine, fuck it. Here. It’s crap.

[H/T @SaraLang]

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