A city lawyer in Kenya has made it his life’s goal to marry one of President Barack Obama’s daughters. Recently he’s gone so far as offering up 50 cows, 70 sheep, and 30 goats as a dowry for sixteen year old Malia Obama. As we all know, Barack Hussein Obama is in fact a native-born Kenyan, so it’s natural that a Kenyan lawyer would seek to further his career by binding his family to the most powerful man in the world (who also happens to be Kenyan). Also, this isn’t just a stunt. The laywer, Felix Kiprono, claims he’s truly in love with Malia and not just infatuated like a tween gushing over Miley Cyrus or Bieber.
Felix Kiprono spoke with The Nairobian about his dowry offer to President Obama and his love for Malia Obama:
A city lawyer has a special request for President Barack Obama.
His dream is to marry one of Obama’s daughters, Malia, and is ready to pay 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats as bride price.
Speaking to The Nairobian, Kiprono, who hit the headlines when he moved to court seeking to have William Ruto sworn in as president when Uhuru travelled to The Hague for his ICC case, said he is ready to meet Obama to discuss the matter when the US president visits in July.
“I got interested in her in 2008. As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price,” he said.
The young lawyer claims his love for Malia is real and not infatuation.
He claims Malia has Kenyan blood since his father Obama has Kenyan roots.
Yes, his father has Kenyan roots as does Barack. As I hinted at before, anyone who has bothered to do the slightest bit of research knows that Barack Hussein Obama was born in Kenya (and therefore is ineligible to serve as President of the United States of America).
“People might say I am after the family’s money, which is not the case. My love is real,” he said, adding that, “I am currently drafting a letter to Obama asking him to please have Malia accompany him for this trip. I hope the embassy will pass the letter to him. I will hand it over to the US Ambassador with whom we have interacted several times.”
The lawyer said that should Obama accept his request, his engagement to the ‘love of his life’ will be “unique with a twist.”
“If my request is granted, I will not resort to the cliché of popping champagne. Instead, I will surprise her with mursik, the traditional Kalenjin sour milk. As an indication that she is my queen, I will tie sinendet, which is a sacred plant, around her head,” he said.
Kiprono adds that he will avoid expensive hotels in the city.
“I will propose to her on a popular hill in Bureti near my father’s land where leaders and warriors are usually crowned. The place is called Kapkatet, which means ‘victory’,adding, “ours will be a simple life. I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali and prepare mursik like any other Kalenjin woman,” he said.
Out of respect for POTUS I won’t even begin to speculate on what sort of dowry it would take to be offered his daughter’s hand in marriage. Methinks that Kiprono’s numbers of 50 cows, 70 sheep, and 30 goats is just a bit off though. Where are the chickens? How are you going to offer up a dowry without chickens? Also, where are the pigs? Everyone in the world loves bacon. Shouldn’t a dowry include bacon? I know nothing whatsoever about dowries or marriage in Kenya, but I’d have to think that it couldn’t hurt Kirpono’s case to sweeten the pot a bit with some more species.
For more on this bizarre story (which the Obama’s have yet to comment on), click on over to African Spotlight and/or The Nairobian.