This story is so fucked up it’s not even funny. Actually that’s a lie – it IS funny, but it’s still mad fucked up. What kind of kid is smart enough to know how to completely sabotage a marriage? What kind of kid is devious enough to sneak into a bedroom and plant lipstick kisses all over shirts to fake evidence of cheating? A genius kid, that’s who.
So good for this kid for being this much of an evil genius, but at the same time I hope he’s not a sociopath who’s slowly escalating his way to murder:
At the private school I grew up in, I became friends with Dylan. Now, Dylan and I became great friends because we both were class clowns and had a lot of fun with it. Little did I realize Dylan actually hated me and talked shit behind my back because he wanted to be the “funniest kid in class” and didn’t like sharing that title.
Little did I know the amount of shit he would talk about me behind my back, the crap he would say about my family, my personality, etc. Etc. I was, however, frustrated with when he started putting on this tough guy attitude. Since I don’t like fighting and prefer to settle disputes with words, he’d always try and pick a fight with me, knowing I’d never fight back. My parents are disciplinary as fuck and would beat the hell out of me for anything like that, so hell no am I fighting.
He would apparently fuck with me whenever I invited him on birthday sleepovers such as literally kicking my ass, fucking with my toys, etc. I assumed it was other friends, but turns out it was him.
But this is what truly set me off. I started getting a passion for art. Almost any kind. Because I was forced into math and science but art made me feel like I could be creative and have more control. I’m still in math and science today, but I love to sing, cook, draw, and write!
So one day, I spent three hours in school drawing the greatest panda ever. The shading, the colors, and just overall, this drawing was perfection. I fucking love pandas, and this was my greatest accomplishment. So Dylan takes my drawing and goes like, “Oh this looks cool! I’ll take it!” I save face and fake it like I don’t care, and say, “Oh whatever, I can make a new one anyways!” but it was clear from my eyes that I was pissed.
So, this bitch decides to fuck with me and say, “Then I guess you don’t care if I do this!” and tears up the fucking drawing. Right in front of me. I spent so much time on that, and it made me love drawing and he killed it. PETEY THE PANDA, I WILL FUCKING AVENGE YOU. Once I was fuming a few weeks later, some friends told me everything he’d do. They felt guilty for hiding it, and didn’t want to anymore. I forgave them, and told them it was all ok. But now I was epically mad. I was ready to strike. And upon Petey’s grave, I will lay a vial of Dylan’s tears.
A month or so later, he invited me to his house for his birthday sleepover (to fuck with me), but I planned. For a 11 year old, I was pissed off. Little did he realize that my dad knew about how Dylan’s mom and dad were starting to fight. Having overheard this between my parents, I knew what my revenge would be.
At 3am, I decided to sneak into his parents’ room and brought some lipstick I “borrowed” from my cousin. I went to some of his dad’s shirts in the back and put the lipstick on my lips and kissed the shirt collar all over the collar. I did this to a few shirts in the back part of the closet, and then I quietly snuck back to the bathroom, washed my lips off, and then snuck back into bed.
The next morning, nothing had happened, but apparently, Dylan wanted to prank me later after lunch. Fortunately, my parents planned on picking me up after breakfast, and I silently left.
A month or so later, I hear my dad telling my mom how Dylan’s parents are getting divorced because Dylan’s dad cheated. I was shocked that my plan actually worked.
Turns out, it worked, but his dad was ACTUALLY cheating. When his mom saw the lipstick marks on the collar, she started looking through his email accounts, and found a lot of “interesting conversations” in some of his secondary emails. And lastly, she caught him in the act after all of this snooping, and that naturally was the final straw.
Dylan became a really quiet kid after that, and would rarely talk to anyone. He turned into a loner, and teachers were having problems with him because of this too. Apparently, he became known as “the boy with no emotion” because he’d rarely ever speak or laugh or cry or anything.
I gotta say, I kinda hoped that his parents would just wind up having a fight or something small, but when I wound up giving the step that led to everything unveiling…. Well, that surprised the hell out of me.
But I still avenged Petey, though.