Prepare to be disappointed.
I’m sorry. I’m very, very sorry.
Steve Feltham of Scotland quit his job and ditched his home and girlfriend all the way back in 1990 to search for the Loch Ness monster. He’s done nothing since. So he’s more crazily passionate about Nessie than anyone, and that fucking Loch attracts a HOST of weirdos (I think even the Ducktales went there in one episode, if I remember correctly).
But he’s starting to think it’s not real. After a quarter-century of hunting, searching, and I’m sure being invited to tons of dinner parties to talk about it (not), Feltham announced what he thought the monster really is.
A really big catfish.
Sky News has the story.
Speaking to Sky News, Mr Feltham did not claim he had solved the mystery of Nessie.
But he said: “Looking at all the evidence, speaking to eyewitnesses, the most likely solution is a Wels catfish.”
This is a Wels catfish. It looks like a fucking monster to me. Just not a cool, ancient monster.
Feltham say he’s going to keep hunting, because clearly he is the embodiment of sanity.