My hands are at the top of the list of things I value and never, ever want to lose. At this point in my life, take my dick and balls for all I care, but leave me my goddamn hands. It’s not even a close choice for me either. I use them way more and they will never betray me by accidentally impregnating a lady.
This guy, who dares to put his precious hand in harm’s way to feed an alligator marshmallows for sparse applause, does not share that appreciation. And if he does, he’s got a fucking crooked way of showing it.
When I first saw this video, I thought it was Morgan Hoffman who was actually putting his PGA Tour career in jeopardy by playing chicken with that gator’s mouth. Thankfully for him, he turned the camera at himself at the end and it quashed my rage that someone in his position could be so fucking stupid. That camera turn also saved me from buying a plane ticket to whatever town he’s in now and it spared one of us from getting the ass kicking of our life. I say “one of us” because I’m not sure who would win that fight. We’re about the same size and build, and you can’t discount the fact that one of us has nothing to lose. (Spoiler Alert: that person with nothing to lose isn’t the one making millions on the PGA Tour.)