An Alabama man riding an electric cart in Gainesville, Florida made off with over $2,000 in stolen merchandise from a local Target.
He then got greedy and returned to the scene of his near-perfect crime, began electric boogalooing around the store in his cart with a bin where he proceeded to dump in $2,400 more in merchandise. Then as he attempted to wheelie past the cash registers the man in the electric wheelchair was apprehended by Target’s in-house security and a local Gainesville Police Department officer on the scene. I guess you could them’s the breaks…
Lee Andrew Kennedy, 55, of Phenix City, Alabama, entered the Target store located on Archer Road at about 3 p.m. on Saturday, according to a Gainesville Police Department report.
Once inside, Kennedy secured an electric cart and grabbed a gray storage bin. He then drove the cart around the store and began filling the bin with more than $2,000 worth of items, the report said.
Once he had collected the stolen goods, Kennedy drove the cart past the registers and left the store, according to the report.
Kennedy was not caught in the act of shoplifting the merchandise at that time, but he returned about six hours later and again drove a cart around the store placing items into a bin, this time attempting to make away with almost $2,400 in stolen merchandise, the report said.
As Kennedy attempted to drive past the registers and exit the store, he was stopped by a Target loss prevention employee and a GPD officer.
According to the report, Kennedy told the arresting officer that he stole the merchandise because “I gotta eat.”
You ‘gotta’ eat $4,400 in stolen merchandise from Le Targét? Really? Maybe if you were jacking some cereal and bologna that excuse might have flown, but nah. You used an electric cart to try and make off with $4,400 in stolen goods, in what is perhaps the most comically ‘MURICAN crime of 2015.
Why couldn’t you just nonchalantly walk out of there with goods using a normal cart? Are you disabled and truly need the electric cart or were you using it because you knew people would be afraid to confront you in that cart? Nobody can possibly be that devious, right?
This must have been how it felt when the security guards stopped him at the registers:
As someone who has more than a little experience with electric carts, as I was confined to one for six weeks back in HS when I blew out my right knee, you should know that some of those carts can haul ass. The Rascal is the one I drove and it had two modes: rabbit and turtle. When it was set on rabbit mode that thing would definitely outrun someone who wasn’t really into the chase in the first place.
Either way this is SO F*CKING GAINESVILLE I love it. Gainesville and it’s jorts wearing inhabitants try and dump on Tallahassee all the time, but Alachua county is easily the most redneck and batshit crazy county in Florida, this only further bolsters my sentiment.
P.s., Gators wear jean shorts.