Being on the elevator with someone else is more intimate than having sex. At least during sex, I have James Blunt playing through the speakers to drown out the deafening silence of her not enjoying it. But an elevator is a where forced small talk lives. Both of you know that outside of the elevator, you don’t, and never will, have a relationship. Elevators are a consequence of circumstance. Just mutter a meaningless question that neither you care to ask or the other person cares to answer, and stare eagerly at the floor numbers lighting up with a painful plastic smile. Because words feel less debilitatingly awkward than the sound of silence.
But this dude. This dude is a whole different breed. The only thing more awkward than being stuck in an elevator with a stranger is being stuck in an elevator with a stranger you just shook down. It’s unfortunate that the surveillance video doesn’t have audio, but by reading the thief’s lips, I think he said “It’s a hot one out there, eh?” as he appraised the ruby necklace the poor old gal wore on her wedding day.