Man Throws Pork Loin At Store Employee, But Only As A Diversion To Steal The Pork Loin Stuffed In His Pants

Look at that delicious, deliciously roasted pork loin. Looks so good. I could probably eat all three of them. Bet you could, too.

There’s a guy in New Jersey right now, in his mid 30s, about 5′ 10″, who is probably enjoying some pork loin just like that, some pork loin he got for free.

But not because of a pork loin winning pork contest. No. It’s because he grifted it from a Sam’s Club, first by chucking one pork loin at an employee, then running out of the store with another hidden in his pants. From

The man had been inside the store at around 3 p.m. when he approached a store greeter, police said. He threw a pork loin at the employee’s feet before running out of the store with another one stuffed down his pants. The pork was valued at $105.

That is a big fucking pork loin. Could probably feed a family of six, easy.

[H/T Thrillist]