You may not have this at your local Mickey D’s, but you should. It’s called “Create Your Taste,” and it allows McDonald’s customers to utilize a touchscreen to completely customize their burgers to have the various accouterments and sauces that one would desire to fulfill all of their wants and needs. One gentleman decided to push this concept to the far boundaries of all that is holy by creating a McDonald’s monstrosity that would have Ray Kroc rolling around in his grave.
Moshe Tamssot went to a Chicago-area build-a-burger kiosk and proceeded to not give a care about price, sound burger engineering or cholesterol. He first selected two meat patties, because that was the maximum. He immediately adds ten orders of bacon on his monster burger because that was the limit. You can’t have a cheeseburger without cheese, so he piles on 10 orders of the following, sharp white and pepper jack, American. He then moved to toppings where he found out that he could only order 10x of each one (Seems like a lot of restrictions for supposedly having the freedom to create your own taste). He begins to add various garnishes including guacamole, chili lime tortilla strips, lettuce, tomatoes, jalapenos, grilled mushrooms, red onions, crinkle-cut pickles and grilled onions on an artisan roll. Finally he sauces it up with special sauce, mayo, spicy mayonnaise, sweet barbecue, creamy garlic and mustard. This has quickly turned into Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory kitchen. To wash it down, Tamssot of course ordered a Diet Coke, because who needs all of those calories from a regular soda going straight to your thighs.
There was one slight problem, when he went to pay for this mutant sandwich, his bill rang up at $890.80. Maybe Moshe didn’t really need all of that creamy garlic sauce after all. However it was actually just a computer glitch that charged a whopping $280 per cheese. After a McManager did some calculations, the real price of $24.89 was announced. The manager brought out the humongous burger and said, “That’s as big as we could make it without it falling apart.”
After all is said and done, he created a leaning tower of burger madness that weighed in 3.8 pounds. He ate the massive burger throughout the day, consuming 2.2 pounds of it, leaving only some sauces and a clump of cheese.
“I tried, but it won,” Tamssot said. Do. Or do not Moshe. There is no try.