Don’t Look At These Pictures Of A Massive Python Swallowing A Parrot Whole If You Want To Sleep Tonight

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Ever since I watched the movie Anaconda, I loathed the existence of snakes. What’s the point of them? They’re not like other killers like bears or tiny little crocs that are cute when they’re young, they’re just always fucking shifty and disgusting on their never ending quest for death. I hate them with ever fiber of my existence. I remember in middle school this nerd from the local animal center came in and called on me to help hold the python he brought in. A little pee leaked out of my middle school dick and I tried to hold a plastic smile like I wasn’t holding back tears. Fuck man, snakes suck ass.

After looking at these pics of a python murdering a parrot, if snakes are still cool with you, you’re a serial killer. Facts only.

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Is this dude fucking serious? Goddamn work of the devil.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.