Bro Explains How Chronic Masturbation Helped Him Beat Cancer

At the age of 30, H. Alan Scott was diagnosed with cancer. He had a tumor, it was treatable, but it would take a ton of chemo.

After weeks of chemotherapy, Scott was bald, fragile, toothless (a mouth infection forced him to pull all of his teeth as to not delay his chemo treatments) and still, somehow, horny as hell. He didn’t want to be with anyone sexually, just himself, like all the damn time.

Scott’s tale of epic masturbation appeared on Huffington Post today.

“One day I stood up, took my IV pole into the restroom, locked the door, and jerked off like a giddy 14-year-old. It felt so good that I did it again the same day. Then again. And again. It became my new thing. Get to chemo, masturbate. Change chemo bag, masturbate. Hour five, masturbate. Someone said hello, masturbate.

I loved it so much that I started doing it everywhere I went (which was limited, because cancer). Target, gas stations, friends’ homes, gyms, medical buildings — you name it, I jerked off in it.

It gave me life, something that I was seriously lacking at that moment. Fat, bald and toothless, I felt like the person I used to be when I masturbated.”

Cancer sucks and it completely changes a person. I’m 100% for doing whatever gets a person through the horrible ordeal in once piece. Whether it’s weed, Friends marathons or jerking off in the lawn and garden section at Walmart, a bro needs to do what a bro needs to do to cope.

I’m constantly hard in the lawn and garden section of Walmart anyway, so jacking it there make sense for me, cancer or no cancer.

[H/T: Huffington Post]