You Might Soon Be Able To Get Your Pets Stoned For, You Know, Their Health

Legislators in Nevada are contemplating allowing the use of medical marijuana for household pets such as cats and dogs.


While the drug hasn’t necessarily been proven to alleviate pain in animals, a Democratic state senator seems to be operating under the “Fuck it, why not?” principle.

Democratic Sen. Tick Segerblom is sponsoring the measure that would allow animal owners to get marijuana for their pet if a veterinarian certifies the animal has an illness that might be alleviated by the drug.

Segerblom said he’s concerned that some animals might have adverse reactions, but “you don’t know until you try,” he said.

Some veterinarians who have given cannabis to sick and dying pets say it has relieved their symptoms, although the substance hasn’t been proven as a painkiller for animals.

Of course, people are opposed to this, simply on … logic? No, wait, that’s not the right word.

Sen. Mark Manendo, a fellow Democrat and animal rights advocate, said he hadn’t heard of the practice of giving marijuana to animals and is concerned about its safety.

“That gives me pause,” he said. “Alcohol is bad, chocolate is bad for dogs.”

And inhaling the raw, rotting innards of a squirrel found on the street will make a human sick, but it doesn’t do dick to a dog. Well, it makes them happy. Just picture how clueless Sen. Manendo looked while uttering those words. “Durr, chocolate is bad? Why don’t dogs use the toilet?” How is that a comparison a rational human makes?

This really isn’t a big step for marijuana legislation or animal rights, but I just think it’s going to hilarious to watch the debate about this going forward. It will be marked by no amount of rationalization. People will argue that giving pot to pets sets a terrible precedent which will make it easier to give marijuana to our kids in the future. People will argue whether animals should be given access to a controlled substance. WHAT IF THE PETS SELL IT TO OTHER PETS??

Seriously, if you’re jazzed to learn about how fucking stupid mankind truly can be, and the utter inanity of America’s attitude toward drug use, keep your eyes tuned to the Nevada Senate. It’s gonna be a cluster fuck. As for the efficacy of it, a vet did say he thought it kind of worked.

Los Angeles veterinarian Doug Kramer told The Associated Press in 2013 that pot helped ease his Siberian husky’s pain during her final weeks, after she had surgery to remove tumors. Kramer said cannabis helped his dog, Nikita, gain weight and live an extra six weeks before she was euthanized.

“I grew tired of euthanizing pets when I wasn’t doing everything I could to make their lives better,” Kramer told the AP. “I felt like I was letting them down.”

But someone will argue making our pets happy is bad for America. “Pets don’t need drugs to be happy.”

Just you watch.