Meth is sooo hot right now. Remember 10 years ago when no one gave a shit about meth? It was all “Don’t smoke weed” this and “Weed will make you run over babies with your car” that, but thanks to Breaking Bad meth is the new illegal superstar of the decade. It’s the one drug that gets singled out when kids go into college, going from the mindset of:
“I’m only going to smoke weed, because it’s safe.”
“…okay, anything but meth.”
But if you’re one of those kids who’s down to ruin their lives with a good ol’ drug addiction, there’s a taco truck selling meth in the state of Colorado that you need to get your junkie ass on over to see. Er, well, there was a taco-meth-hybrid truck…it’s gone now, because the people hocking meth out of it were WAY too casual about it. This is why we can’t have nice things, guys.
“The brazenness of this ring was astounding,” said Attorney General John Suthers. “For example, customers could literally walk up to a food truck and order a side of meth with their taco.”
…Juan Carlos Gonzalez, 37, is accused of being the leader of the ring, called the Gonzalez Drug Trafficking Organization. The indictment alleges that he ran the criminal operation from his BMW, organizing drug dealers, drug storage and money laundering.
“Gonzalez coordinated with others to primarily import meth as well as cocaine from Mexico into California for delivery into Mexico,” the office said in a news release. Authorities said Gonzalez primarily used his aunts to distribute drugs.
Authorities followed those indicted over several weeks, discovering a complex array of stash houses and at least one storage unit used to allegedly peddle drugs. Maria Arellano is accused of selling meth out of her food truck near 8th Avenue and Federal Boulevard in Denver, according to court papers.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never done meth before (clearly I’m wasting my life away), so my main question after reading this is…does the taste of meth compliment your average taco? Do they pair well together like peanut butter and jelly? Should everyone be sprinkling some meth onto their Tex Mex in order to bring out the best flavors? I took to the highly informative Internet to find out, and got several varying answers.
Yahoo! Answers, the final frontier of accurate information given by random strangers who may as well be koala bears rolling around on keyboards for all you know, had this to say:
Why this falls under the “health > alternative medicine” category I can’ tell you, but from that answer it appears meth tastes like semen. Just another reason not to do it. Then again, answers.com had a different opinion:
Delicious as in “I want meth with every meal” or as in “it’s a delicacy that should only be eaten during special occasions?” Because doing meth every day seems like it would get old.
Tl;dr: Meth tastes like delicious semen and you can buy it as a side to go with your tacos in Colorado.
[H/T Gawker and Denver Post]