This Michigan Frat Douchebag Who Verbally Assaults An Uber Driver Is The New UConn Mac And Cheese Kid

Remember that entitled UConn student who threw a hissy fit because the Student Union wouldn’t serve him Mac and Cheese? That dude was a bigger target than Dez Bryant for a good 8 days. But the internet forgets, partly because we are all just dust in the wind and nothing matters and we all die alone, and partly because the world was sure to bring us another insufferable douchnozzle who gives us white 20-something males a bad name.

The world delivered.

Now we all get to sit here, close our eyes, and picture ourselves punching this dude in his punchable face. And don’t get me wrong, I’m a dickhead. I’ve inflated the ‘donation’ field on my tax return and haven’t called my grandparents in years, but I draw the line at shitting on people who are in the service industry. The entitlement of berating someone for trying to make a living, however unglamorous, is reserved for spoiled pricks who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. I’d be willing to bet this asshole has completed one full-day of blue collar work in his entire life. Probably wears lifting gloves and a bathing suit in the locker room. God what a gargantuan bitch.

P.S. If you wear a coat with a fur hood and you haven’t released a fire mixtape, you’re  a fucking poser.

white kid 2

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.