Survey Finds That An Alarming Number Of Millennials Would Give Up Sex For This…

Life is all about choices. In Economics we call this opportunity cost–the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen. For instance, we all have a choice to get legless drunk tonight. If we make the choice to escape our lives for a few hours to feel like Superman, we are giving up the value of a healthy liver and a productive next day.  No brainer for me–pass me the Jack.

We are the choices we make, bros.

That’s why studies constructed around hypothetical scenarios tell us a great deal about the current state of our society.

The team over at recently surveyed 5,000 Americans of varying ages and sexes through Google Consumer Surveys to determine what we value. 

The results are not only surprising, but reflective on our current cultural state.

One third of Americans would choose to undergo a colossal dry spell to look at cat videos on YouTube. Women are 28% more likely to give up sex for six months over the internet.


This number seemed high to me, until I remembered that there is sex on the internet that can help soften the blow.

Ya know what won’t help soften the blow? The fact that your parents value sex more than you do. They’re probably valuing it right now. In the bed you slept in growing up. Numbers don’t lie.

Via High Speed Internet:

Nearly 50% of those ages 18-24 surveyed said they would rather give up sex than Internet. Whereas just under 30% of those ages 45-64 would give up sex for Internet, revealing that baby boomers seem to value sex more than the college-age people we surveyed.


I DissaaaGRee whOLeHE$rteDLYYy

Close to 9 out of 10 girls would give up drinking for the world wide web. The numbers for men are slightly lower (8 out of 10), but still astronomical.

I’m disappointed in my fellow millennials. I know my job solely consists of being on the Internet, but if push came to shove, I’d quit to have sex and drink my face off. Get busy livin, or get busy dyin’.

Check out more survey results over at High Speed Internet.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.