One of the few perks of being a girl is that I don’t have to worry about how big my dick is. Yep, I’ll live the rest of my life without the thought “Man, I wish my dick was bigger than 2 inches” going through my head in any serious manner whatsoever. For poor Australian Mike (whose name has been changed because his life sucks enough already without the entire world knowing about his micropenis), however, that’s probably a daily thought.
“Two years ago, ninemsn spoke to Mike*, a man who has what is medically known as a ‘micro-penis’ – a penis shorter than 7cm when erect…
His first round of surgeries, which had involved lengthening and widening, had not proven successful.
‘The ligament regrafted itself onto the dermal fat graft and I got some retraction,’ he said.”
The fuck does that even mean Mike? Ligament? Dermal fat graft? I know what all these words mean when they’re separate, but put together it’s like I’m reading Chinese that was written by an illiterate potato farmer. If I had to guess, and by guess I mean “make things up,” I’d say that means his dick shrank back to its previously embarrassing size.
“That surgery cost him $45,000. Mike drew down on his mortgage to pay for it, after completing a particularly lucrative construction contract.
Now he’s looking at another $18,000 for further work, and considering a more serious surgery that will require general anaesthetic and cost even more – around $50,000.”
And if you think that sounds like it sucks, poor Mike has been getting shafted (har har) his entire life just because his dick is shorter than my index finger. Hell, even his pediatrician crapped on him.
“‘My mum took me to a paediatrician…
‘The [female] paediatrician said, ‘Alright, let’s have a look’. When she saw it she said, ‘I’ve seen smaller’. And that was that. Obviously I never grew, so that was a massive f— up.'”
While sure, that was shitty of his pediatrician, can you imagine the conversation that went down between Mike and his Mom that led to her taking him to the doctor? Worst family dinner conversation ever.