National Vodka Day is October 4th, and we’re celebrating by getting drunk (responsibly). In additional to intoxication, we also enjoy education, so here are a few vodka facts you absolutely don’t need to know.
1. National Vodka Day is Bullshit
Like every other national/world food/drink day/week/month, National Vodka Day is a complete load of crap. No one knows when it started, but it’s a safe bet that it was created by a vodka brand as an excuse to sell more vodka. It also lets brokedick writers like me shove lists of vodka facts down your throat.
2. Flavors Have Jumped the Shark
Just like Pumpkin Spice, vodka flavors have gone way too far. It started with Peppar and the best intentions. The result was vodka flavors like Fresh Cut Grass, Salmon, Waffle, Glazed Donuts, Fruit Loops, Tobacco (with Menthol), and even the uber-ridiculous Electricity.
3. Andy Warhol Painted the Absolut Bottle
Artist/Booze collaborations seem commonplace now, but Absolut started it all nearly 30 years ago when they commissioned Andy Warhol to do a piece using their bottle. The result was legendary. He went on to suggest many other artists they should use, including Keith Haring.
4. Vodka Doesn’t Have to be Odorless & Tasteless
This nonsense is purported by broke people who want an excuse for bringing Popov to a party. Yes, there is a U.S. regulation that says it must be “without distinctive character, aroma, or taste,” but aside from Tito’s and Skyy, how many American vodka brands can you name? You think Russia follows our rules?
5. Premium Vodka is a Real Thing
Because everyone is happy to drop cash on booze now, brands are making premium and even super premium vodka. There isn’t a huge disparity in quality/enjoyment because it’s all still getting distilled to 190+ proof, but the premium juice tends to retain flavor from the grains. Something like Elyx actually tastes like wheat bread because they haven’t stripped everything out of it. The cuts are usually tighter too, which costs more money, hence the premium.
6. You Still Shouldn’t Pay a Fortune for Vodka
For 98% of people, there’s no reason to spend over $20 on vodka. Most people are mixing, and at that point purity is the only thing that matters. Grab a bottle of Tito’s or robot-favorite Svedka and call it a day. The Vodka on the Rocks crowd can push a little higher, but even something like Purity (the brand not the adjective) only costs $40.
7. Most Important of the Vodka Facts: The McNuggetini Exists
Cocktail superheros Alie & Georgia dominate the internet drinking world today, but it all started with the McNuggetini. Scientists suggest it’s the world’s best vodka cocktail.