Nothing quite like a good ol’ fashioned revenge story that involves using brains over brawns. Of course it’s satisfying as well to read about how someone got the snot beat out of them – but reading that Redditor ButtCrackMcGee’s grandfather was able to scare the shit out of a bunch of enlisted Navy sailors with a simple strand of cloth and a pair of scissors? Wonderful on all accounts.
Back in ‘the war’ my grandpa was in the navy. He was a fairly skinny guy, but obscenely tough. Being of Italian heritage, he received ‘more than his fair share of shit’ from his shipmates. Being as Italy was not exactly on the best of terms with the US back in WWII, I can only imagine the corn-fed ‘muricans on his ship were pretty much dick to him.
He could have easily brawled and come out on top, but that wasn’t his style. He was a gentleman, and (apparently) always gave people the benefit of the doubt and allowed opportunities to change their own minds.
One job of his on ship was packing (and re-packing, I assume) parachutes.
Quick sidebar here: when you were going to be jumping out of a plane, be it for a combat mission or training, you used the chute you are issued. No exceptions. None. You are given a parachute and that’s what you used.
Anywho… my grandpa would occasionally play with the chutes of people who made his life hell. Not that they were in any way unsafe, just playing with people’s heads.
What he would do is leave a few scraps of tattered parachute cloth or suspension cord hanging out of the packed chute. When he was issuing the chutes to the dickheads, and someone noticed stuff sticking out, he would just go ‘ok, no problem and cut off the offending material and hand it back to the guy (he cut off the junk he had added, the chutes were still perfectly packed).
These assholes would have to spend the next few hours knowing that heir chutes had been tampered with and that they were jumping to their deaths (obviously they werent, but the didn’t know it until they pulled the cord and their chute worked perfectly).
People stopped being dicks to him and just left him alone after he taught a few people their lesson.
My grandpa is a smart old guy.