… Not Grey Goose.
The AP has the details on “Operation Swill,” a somewhat hilariously named investigation by the New Jersey Alcoholic Beverage Control that discovered 29 Jerz bars and restaurants substituting cheap booze for the expensive brands, while still charging high prices.
It gets worse: Many of the bars (which included 13 TGI Friday's, those bastards) were even caught selling rubbing alcohol and caramel coloring as “scotch,” or refilling premium liquor bottles with water.
As part of Operation Swill, investigators collected 1,000 open bottles of vodka, gin, rum, scotch, whiskey and tequila from the wells of the bars, state Attorney General Jeffrey Chiesa said.
“This alleged scheme is a dishonest ruse to increase profits and is a slap in the face of the consumer,” Chiesa said.
Within seven days, the establishments must turn over records to help state authorities determine how many patrons were overcharged and by how much. They also will have to inform the state which employees were at work the days samples were covertly taken earlier this year.
State officials would not say what establishment used the rubbing alcohol or which one used dirty water, or water not from a tap. They said no health issues were reported.
This is the most pressing health issue currently affecting the United States. We'll update in the event of any more details.