North Korea Says It’s In The Mood To Nuke The U.S.


A good nuclear weapons attack doesn’t just happen. It isn’t awkward sex between middle schoolers, rushed into before their parents get home. You gotta feel it. You gotta need it. You gotta want to bring the heat.

North Korea right now is jonesin’. They sent out a press release today to say to the world they’ve got a thermonuclear erection and they just can’t wait to stroke it.

North Korea announced Tuesday that it has restarted its Yongbyon nuclear reactor and was ready to use nuclear weapons “any time” against the United States.

Any time? Tease me good. And North Korea knows how to bringing the fissile foreplay.

All of the nuclear facilities at Yongbyon, including a uranium-enrichment plant and five-megawatt reactor, are now in “normal operation,” the unidentified director of North Korea’s Atomic Energy Institute said, according to a report published Tuesday by the official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA).

North Korean scientists have been “steadily improving the levels of nuclear weapons with various missions in quality and quantity as required by the prevailing situation,” the report said, adding that North Korea is ready to face American hostility with “nuclear weapons any time.”

This time, too, they think they can get it in.

On Monday, North Korea said it was preparing to launch a long-range rocket for space research, a provocative move that would be seen by the outside world as a part of its efforts to test an intercontinental ballistic missile capable of hitting the U.S. mainland.

Oh don’t get me all hot and ready then give me this shit. A test? Call me when your dick can actually make it past Guam.

By dick. I mean intercontinental ballistic missiles.