Old Dude At The Golf Course Pulls Out A Gun And Goes Ballistic On A Teenage Punk Who Tried To Steal His Clubs

I’ve lived 29 years on this planet and I’ve wanted to do nothing more than this old timer wanted to blast this punk’s skull open. I don’t know much, but I do know that no one is angrier than a dude over 55 whose a little boozed up and just played a shitty round on the course. When you become too old to play sports that require athleticism and you need a good excuse to leave your wife for six hours, old timers begin to measure their self worth and social status based on the round they just had. If you just dropped $95 for a round, a cart, and three sleeves of balls that you sprayed into the woods only to come back to find some needle-dicked teenager trying to steal everything you’ve come to love, of course you’re going to pull out a 9 mm and categorically overreact.

P.S. I really started to believe this old timer was a cop after the 43rd time he shouted it. 1-42 I figured he was just playing make believe, but that 43rd declaration really drilled the point home for me. This guy’s a cop, no questions asked.

[h/t TFM]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.