Old Man Gets Kicked Out Of Nursing Home For Hiding A Prostitute Under His Bed, And I’m Struggling To See The Issue Here

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Authorities say that a man in his 70’s living in the suburban Philadelphia assisted-living facility was kicked to the street after authorities found a prostitute hiding under his bed, according to the San Francisco Gate. The man reportedly paid for his fleet of prostitutes by selling alcohol to other residents.

County Chief Financial Officer Uri Z. Monson indicated that the man was a ‘more mobile gentleman’ who went on booze runs for his neighbors.

According to Daily Mail, the county paid more than $1 million to subsidize assisted living care for 21 seniors last year. Aaaand 20 this year.

I used to think the thirst ended at around 55 years old. To me that seems to be the cutoff age for horniness, when the love juices run dry. Except that one old sleeze in all those “Bang My Wife” pornos who just chills in the corner and watches a couple bang out, occasionally muttering words of encouragement with his old, weathered voice. You guys know exactly who I’m talking about.

But then I turned 13-years-old and was looking for candy at my grandfather’s house and found his collection of 238,923 Penthouse magazines. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t see a card catalog because it was a fucking library of smut mags. Like one or two are cool for a raining day, but it was like he had a goddamn printing press in his basement. RIP Grandpa. Should have threw a few in your casket for the afterlife.

Back to the matter at hand. Kicking a man to the street for paying for a little strange and hooking his bros up with a little booze? In my town, he’d be elected mayor.

[H/T Daily Mail]

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